Thursday, September 9, 2010

Advanced Notice

I don't know about you but I like being prepared for things. I never want to be the guy who forgets something or delays a project because I wasn't paying attention. I feel like it makes you look bad both professionally and personally. I've been complaining about the New Hire procedures at my company for longer than I'd care to remember. I understand that every once in a while you're going to have a last minute new hire to fill an unexpected vacancy, for a busy season, whatever. Unfortunately for me however, it seems that 98.3% of the New Hires around here fall under the category of last minute. Take yesterday for instance.....

A finance guy walks into my office with a woman in tow. He introduces her as.....I forgot her name. Sue me. Anyway he says this is Finance chick and she started today. Of course, she would like a laptop because she takes her work home with her (Translation: I don't own a computer and I need something my 8 year old can play Farmville on). Thanks to the stinginess of upper management I do not have any spare equipment on hand. I'm forced to order equipment as soon as a New Hire Form is submitted. This is why the NHF clearly states "PLEASE ALLOW US TWO WEEKS TO HAVE YOUR NEW HIRE SETUP". Once in a while, items are back ordered and we're not going to get them in time for the new hire's start date. You get the point. So I don't have any equipment onsite, luckily for them someone just quit in another department. I'll just re-image the machine and get Finance Girl setup temporarily. Then, I can order her a laptop and she's in business. I explain to Finance Guy and Girl that I'll get her setup by tomorrow morning. Finance Guy is OK with that, everybody wins. Or so I thought.....

A little background info. In comes my new IIC (Idiot in charge). My old boss was recently let go, so rather than split myself and the programmers up and let me continue to run everything like I currently am, the Powers That Be decided they were going to promote one of the programmers and make me report to him. It helps that he's the owner's best friend. The guy is great to have a beer with. I like him a lot personally. By his own admission though, he's as technical as my dog. That tends to pose a problem as you could imagine. On top of that, since he just got the new gig, he wants to make everyone happy, which tends to pose a problem.....for me. When he wants to make people happy that means, he tells them it'll get done then I actually have to do the work.

So IIC tells Finance Guy that he'll setup the PC for Finance Girl himself. That's great I'll let IIC setup the computer, I'll create her accounts as soon as I get a second and she'll be home free. AWESOME! First thing this morning, (Side note: I'm not a morning person. I like angry music and no interruptions in the morning. I don't turn on the lights in my office until 4pm. I just want to be left alone.) Finance Girl waddles into my office before I can even sit down and enjoy the hell that is about to begin. Where's my PC? Do you have an ETA on when it will be setup? Ummm.....wasn't IIC going to do that for you? Yeah, he forgot. Lovely. So guess who it falls on to take care of it. So of course, 5 minutes later my phone rings and it's IIC and he wants me to take care of the issue for her. I tell him I'm changing the backup tapes and sending them offsite. Then I play dumb and say "I thought you already set her up?". He tells me that he just forgot and asked if I could take care of it. He then proceeds to say the words that set me off.

I know how frustrating this is for you.....

What part? The part where I have to cover your ass because you're making empty promises? The part where I have to bend over backwards to miracle a PC and phone onto someone's desk because their fucking boss couldn't spend 5 minutes to fill out a NHF? Or the part where you're trying to bond with me and tell me that you feel my pain when really you're just trying to calm me down so you can come through and look like a White Knight?

Some of you may think I'm just whining and complaining. My biggest flaw may be that I care too much. Even though I'm not appreciated by my company, other people get the accolades that I deserve, and I'm severely underpaid. I still bust my ass to get the job done. In case you were wondering, Finance Girl was setup within 15 minutes. Finance Guy was super happy that the turnaround was so quick even though he submitted the NHF two hours AFTER Finance Girl has started. I just wish my boss would get my back and try to enforce the procedure in place instead of trying to make me bend over backwards when users "forget" to inform me of a new hire that's joining the company.